Wait, is that nutcase still in power? Really? You’re kidding, right?

PEÑAS BLANCAS, NICARAGUA - Sometimes, to decide that a country is hopelessly screwed, you need only look into the window of a immigration office at the border.

That’s what I did the other day, and here’s what I saw: A garrish pink sign promoting the ruling party’s choice for the recently concluded, and recently violently disputed, municipal elections.

No government worth its salt would mix a political campaign and the simple process of getting through a border checkpoint. This is a cruel joke, I thought.

Much to my subsequent amazement, the border inspection agent agreed with me, in a way.

Many border stations have a system whereby you push a button and if the little stoplight “randomly” pops up red, you get your bag searched. That day, I was one of the unlucky ones.

I put my backpack on the table and gave the guy my passport. He took it out and gave it a look. Great, I thought. Our two countries don’t exactly have a great history. This could be trouble.

“Peter,” he said.

“Si,” I said.

“Rice,” he said.

“Si,” I said.

“Rice and beans!” he said, breaking into a grin.

“Si, si,” I said, doing by best to pretend that I had not heard this joke about six million times in my life.

He paused, and looked at my passport a little more.

“Okay, go,” he said, not even bothering to look into my backpack.

God help the innocent people who call this country home, I thought.