DEAR ABBY: I am an American living in the Mexican state of Michoacan. Recently, I moved into an apartment with a spacious roof/deck, and now all my Mexican friends want to use it as a place to hold a barbecue. Is this advisable? — CONCERNED GRINGO TENANT

DEAR CONCERNED: You should be aware of a few rules before you agree to host such a shindig. First, if the barbecue (called a carne asada in Spanish) is scheduled for 5 p.m., guests will start to show up around 6:15. Then a series of unexpected glitches will crop up, and they will be met with some very slow and carefree troubleshooting. For instance, it’s quite possible that the person bringing the meat will forget, and it will take him 40 minutes to get back on track. Then the person bringing the barbecue will forget an essential part, which will require him to head out for that part or possibly even a replacement barbecue. Many of the people who come are likely to bring their friends, as this is normal and not considered impolite, as in the United States. I recommend generously indulging in the appetizers, as these must get you through the roughly three and a half hours after the “start time” to the point when you are actually eating carne asada. But as for why your friends want to use your house, the answer is simple: They either live with their parents or in a house of their own that they want to get away from. And lacking decent parks, they thought of your house.

DEAR ABBY: I have hosted many parties in Mexico and I find it maddening how little concern the locals show for punctuality and general functionality at a party. For example, having the food (all of it) actually at the party when the party starts - this rarely happens. — IRRITATED IN JALISCO

DEAR IRRITATED: There are three good answers to this: Tecate, Dos XX, and Negro Modelo. There are also a number of adequate answers to this, such as Modelo and Leon. Add the juice of one lime to these answers, and then find a chair and some sliced potatoes with chile sauce drizzled over them. Try to enjoy yourself and remember that life is short and often very difficult. If this does not work, try finding a stronger answer in the tequila section of your local grocery.

DEAR ABBY: I recently hosted a party here in Mexico, but my friends, who were organizing the food part of the affair, bought so much that the bill, when split between all participants, came to a whopping 85 pesos, or roughly the cost of a fairly fancy restaurant meal. Plus, we have tons of leftover food. What should I do? — OVERWHELMED IN PUEBLA

DEAR OVERWHELMED: The obvious solution is to hold another carne asada with the leftover food. But this time, find someone who has a good sound system and some banda CDs. And make sure the cap on your huge drinking water jug is screwed on tight, lest the little kids that inevitably show up to these functions again put garbage and pens in it.